DoubleX Music Room

[DoubleX]

I just made my 24th and 25th published song:
DoubleX - Dying Inside

Spoiler: Description

Current version: 1st(27 Aug 2025)
When you've less and less time to know yourselves, you'll probably become harder and harder to be yourselves, instead you'll likely be closer and closer to a dead man walking, until you eventually just can't function anymore :(

DoubleX - Depression Suppression

Spoiler: Description

Current version: 1st(27 Aug 2025)
As most people do need societies to survive while societies still need lots of objectified people to keep itself running, many people have to behave as mere tools to be utilized by some of the others. They either remain being useful assets, or become useless enough to "deteriorate" into costly liabilities, and being depressed is no defense against such oppression as a necessary evil. Although nobody can be a perpetual motion machine and suppressing depression is doomed to fail badly, not trying hard to act like achieving both will usually lead to even sooner disposal like a waste :(

 

[DoubleX]

I just made my 26th and 27th published song:
DoubleX - Nothing But Mistakes

Spoiler: Description

Current version: 1st(31 Aug 2025)
When you always feel all you've done are nothing but mistakes that can't be corrected at all, you'll likely think that your very existence are the only ones you can X(

DoubleX - Addicted To Despair

Spoiler: Description

Current version: 1st(31 Aug 2025)
If you first face your despair, you'll probably feel conflicted, confused and cornered, as illustrated in the 1st part of this music. But once you get used to it, a strange serenity might come into your lives as shown in the 2nd part of this music. However, when you can no longer sustain yourselves that way, you'll likely feel even more desperate than before X(

 

[DoubleX]

I just made my 28th, 29th, 30th, 31st and 32nd published song:
DoubleX - Soulless Life

Spoiler: Description

Current version: 1st(7 Sep 2025)
While a soulless life's often so not worth living that it can be much worse than peaceful death, when you're obliged or even forced to live for a long time anyway, it'd be rather hard to keep your souls alive T_T

DoubleX - Detached Outsider

Spoiler: Description

Current version: 1st(7 Sep 2025)
For those failing to fit into any society, being a detached outsider can be another choice. While it'd mean abandoning many aspects of life, it may also lead to unique experience and perspectives that bring new ideas and valuable insights into the mainstream humanity :)

DoubleX - Waste Of Space

Spoiler: Description

Current version: 1st(7 Sep 2025)
When you feel more and more worthless, you might begin to treat shopping as wasting precious money instead of naturally contributing to the economy, eating as wasting scarce food rather than meeting genuine needs normally, drinking as wasting clean water but not basic human rights, and even breathing as wasting vital oxygen without realizing that it's just a part of the carbon cycle. Then one day you may feel that your very existence are just wasting invaluable space while devaluing your uniqueness entirely, eventually you can really be completely and permanently wasted if you keep thinking this way QAQ

DoubleX - Heavy Burden

Spoiler: Description

Current version: 1st(8 Sep 2025)
Lives might be easier if only you can let go of your heavy burden, but that'd probably mean someone else bearing it for you, or even imply that you'll likely become a heavy burden for the others instead :(

DoubleX - Total Surrender

Spoiler: Description

Current version: 1st(10 Sep 2025)
When you finally realize that there are so little things that you can even have a little control, you'll at last be forced to totally surrender yourselves to your surroundings during your whole lives, and you'll still have to keep controlling your perception, emotions and thinking hard into sincerely enjoying all these as divine blessing, all to avoid yourselves from complete collapse :)

 

[DoubleX]

I just made my 33rd and 34th published song:
DoubleX - Deeply Touched

Spoiler: Description

Current version: 1st(16 Sep 2025)
As you become more and more compassionate towards the mankind, you'll feel more and more clearly that the majority of the humanity is constantly suffering immensely, and you'll be more and more deeply touched on just how powerless the civilization is against such widespread mental harm and pain for such a long time, especially when everything is just misfortune beyond everyone's control, so you'll want to be so empathetic that you won't ever blame anyone for anything anymore, but instead just focus on what you can do to mend the wounds in this dying ecosystem :)

DoubleX - Too Weak To Live

Spoiler: Description

Current version: 1st(17 Sep 2025)
When you don't know how to deal with anyone else anymore for a long time, and you're not strong enough to be self-sufficient anytime soon, you'll eventually become too weak to live :(

 

[DoubleX]

I just made my 35th and 36th published song:
DoubleX - Mental Suffocation

Spoiler: Description

Current version: 1st(20 Sep 2025)
When you're suffocating mentally, it can be like drowning in the middle of the gigantic ocean without anyone else ever coming nor any mobile signal coverage, then it's only a matter of time before you become too exhausted to even stay afloat, and the endless sea waves will only further siphon your already lacking stamina X(

DoubleX - Utopian Dreams

Spoiler: Description

Current version: 1st(21 Sep 2025)
If you ever have an utopian dream, you'll be so ecstatic that you don't wanna wake up forever, and the fact that it's always impossible to be even slightly real only makes you so attached to such idealistic illusions that you'll just want to repeat this over and over again :)

 

[DoubleX]

I just made my 37th published song:
DoubleX - Chaotic Mind

Spoiler: Description

Current version: 1st(27 Sep 2025)
When you can't think clearly for a long time, your brain will become such a mess that you'll become the one you know the least, so your mind will also be so chaotic that nobody can understand anything inside anymore :(

 

[DoubleX]

I just made my 38th, 39th and 40th published song:
DoubleX - Drained Dry

Spoiler: Description

Current version: 1st(3 Oct 2025)
As you have to do more and more to stay relevant in this world, you'll be more and more exhausted over time, until you become so drained that you'll feel completely dry emotionally for who knows how long X(

DoubleX - Internal Turmoil

Spoiler: Description

Current version: 1st(4 Oct 2025)
As you become more and more mature, you'll have more aspects of your lives to handle well at all times, causing you to be harder and harder to deal with them all at the same time, eventually you'll feel so conflicted that your soul will at last be trapped into a total unrest :(

DoubleX - Habitually Overloaded

Spoiler: Description

Current version: 1st(5 Oct 2025)
Just as you wanna rest after being exhausted, your boss or family members ask you to do tasks that would be easy, simple and small for you if you weren't already that empty. If you just refuse while explaining that you're really so tired, they'll be very so displeased for your rejection on even such trivial extra works that they'll eventually want to fire or leave you; If you keep straining yourselves no matter what, you'll be so habitually overloaded that you'll eventually collapse and be done. So it's vital to control the ratio and rhythm of refusing versus accepting these demands to keep everything sustainable, but such a long yet thin wire is really just so insanely hard to walk for long QAQ

 

[DoubleX]

I just made my 41st published song:
DoubleX - Feeling Unsure

Spoiler: Description

Current version: 1st(15 Oct 2025)
Although I've spent hours to try to name this song, I still felt unsure about what the title should be, so I became lazy and just name this song as "Feeling Unsure" lol

 

[DoubleX]

I just made my 42nd published song:
DoubleX - Finally Overwhelmed

Spoiler: Description

Current version: 1st(17 Oct 2025)
Sometimes you can suddenly change from feeling fine to become totally overwhelmed in no time with obvious causes, but it's more often like a boiling frog - you gradually feel less and less fine bit by bit without realizing it, until you feel finally overwhelmed and at last know that you've never been really fine, but then it's all too late for you by then :(

 

[DoubleX]

I just made my 43rd published song:
DoubleX - Take Myself Lightly

Spoiler: Description

Current version: 1st(22 Oct 2025)
If all I did didn't mean anything and I never mattered to anyone, then maybe it's time for me to just take myself lightly and move on, provided that I still have anywhere else to move to :)